No stars tonight

Inundandu'ma in fumul cald ce se raspandeste'n intuneric,aleg sa spun "adio".

EU RENUNT!

Ceva ce ma inspira...

I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation
You're living in the past it's a new generation
A girl can do what she wants to do and that's
What I'm gonna do
An' I don't give a damn ' bout my bad reputation

Make it stop!

          Sub adierea dulce a unor note muzicale tacute,rasuna aceleasi idei demult pierdute.

 Singurele lucruri ce'mi traverseaza mintea,la ore tarzii ale noptii,sau ore fragede ale diminetii,sunt versurile melodiilor ce se revarsa in toata incaperea. De obicei,acum ceva timp,la ora asta era deja lumina afara. Acum pare ca'ntunericul si'a gasit locul. Pare ca nu mai vrea sa plece.S'a asezat relativ calm si lin.Ca si cum ar stii ca e momentul lui.Si il gusta din plin.Si il simte din plin.Si imi invadeaza singura bucata de intimitate ce inca nu a fost atinsa de rautatea exterioara.
 Ora 4.32,mintea'mi este brusc invadata de tot felul de pasaje inexplicabile. Timpul trece greu.Parca simt asta. Dar...parca nu'mi displace.Mereu m'am miscat incet.Am actionat incet.Mereu am fost out of time.Cateodata l'as baga intr'un cufar si as arunca cheia in mare. Doar pentru a'l impiedica sa mai treaca pe langa mine.Doar pentru a ma impiedica pe mine sa'i mai simt efectele atat de dure. Cateodata mi'as dori sa'l pot controla.Sa'l dau inapoi.Cati dintre noi nu si'au dorit sa poata da timpul inapoi? "Daca as putea da timpul inapoi..." Ce fraza fumata.De atatea ori,dar cu aceeasi profunzime. Daca am putea da timpul inapoi.Dar,atat de trist si atat de fericit...nu se poate,
 Ora 4.37,intrebari despre libertate. Oare eu sunt libera?Oare noi suntem? Ce este libertatea? Un concept,un fapt,o entitate? Nu stiu...stiu doar ca as vrea sa fiu libera,sa ma simt. As vrea doar sa'mi eliberez mintea de lume...lumea de mine. As vrea doar sa traiesc.As vrea doar sa respir.Si fiecare inghititura de aer sa fie transformata intr'o inghititura de viata. Sa ne hranim cu viata? Sa traim cu viata? Sau...doar sa traim.
  Ora 4.42,momentan lipsa acuta de idei.Poate ca am obosit sa tot insir cuvinte "pe hartie". Poate ca doar ar trebui sa...ciudat insa,timpul a inceput sa treaca mai repede.

The end.

I believe in nothing
Not the end and not the start
I believe in nothing
Not the earth and not the stars
I believe in nothing
Not the day or not the dark
I believe in nothing
But the beating of our hearts
I believe in nothing
100 suns until we part
I believe in nothing
Not in sin and not in God
I believe in nothing
Not in peace and not in war
I believe in nothing
But the truth in who we are

From me to you.

 This is a post from the darkest side of me,from the deepest of my soul,from the blackest of my feelings.Beacause...Sometimes The Heart Speaks With Blood.

 Cine stie cate crime s'au comis aici?Cine stie cat sange a curs si patruns in solul acesta,atat de rosu?Cine stie cate urlete de disperare si durere au auzit copacii acestei paduri?

 Because the third time hurts the most. And,once again,it was true.It hurted the most.The third time she was betrayed,the third time she was hit,the third time she was killed.And,he,the "monster" ,as she used to call him,was just watching her dying her little lonely death.

  Nu  simtea durerea fizica.Nu simtea...agonia trupului,ce se zbatea,in urma torturilor aplicate.Simtea doar o...tristete,ce'i devora sufletul.Doar se intreba "oare asa e iadul?","oare,acum platesc?","oare aceasta mare de disperare si singuratate este de fapt...marea de foc in care ard sufletele negre,pline de pacat?"
 

  The last tear fell down from her eye.And...she past away.Slowly and...alone.Sad and forgotten.She knew from the first time that this will be her destiny.She knew she'll pay.But,despite this,she kept being "herself"...the monster. As others used to call her.But we all know that only someone like you,can destroy you.And,the monster was killed...by another monster.
  


 Detaliile insangerate ale acele crime au continuat sa curga prin randurile necitite ale unor pagini.Desi o urase atat de mult...i'a indeplinit ultima dorinta.Nu a lasat oamenii sa o uite.Nu pe ea...ci suferinta ei.El a scris.I'a scris moartea,pe care...cu 21 de ani in urma,chiar el o provocase.Niciodata nu a fost prins,niciodata nu a fost gasit cadavrul.Doar...ca,acolo,unde'si urlase durerea,solul era mai rosu.

Trip True Friend and Blue

...Si cica asta s'ar traduce "prietenul adevarat,unic si albastru"-frumos,nu?
Desi timpul a trecut relativ repede,exista anumite lucruri care'mi par atat de statice.Dupa cum obisnuiam mereu sa spun,de ceva timp,am tot avut vaga impresie ca timpul sta pe loc,noi fiind cei ce'l traverseaza.Probabil,pentru multi,o aberatie. Cateodata si pentru mine.

Momentan,nu am putut sa nu observ aceleasi rahaturi ambulante ce graviteaza in jurul universului meu. Nu am putut sa nu urasc aceiasi oameni atat de iubiti si idolatrizati.Aceiasi oameni acri,aceiasi oameni duri si reci.Nu am putut sa nu iubesc acea stare de ura si de disperare.Aceleasi momente in care nu stiam de ce si pentru ce se petrecea totul.Nu am putut inceta sa'mbin realitatea cu literatura,nu am putut inceta sa fiu o alta figura de ceara,intr'o armata anonima. Pur si simplu nu am putut.

Atunci l-am sfaramat.

Si toate amintirile frumoase
vor ramane legate
de acelasi suflet.
Acum singur
si deziluzionat.   
Multumit insa...
Multumit,ca pentru cateva momente
a ajuns la acel apogeu,frumos!
Trist si pierdut.
Pierdut pentru ca totul s-a rupt,
pentru ca ii pare rau,
pentru ca nu a luptat mai mult.
Acum,tu,
oare,sufletul va ramane acelasi?
...

Da,stiu,am mai postat asta o data...candva,demult. Insa,sunt sigura ca'ntre timp ati si uitat...
 

Islands|Love the way you lie

I don't have to leave anymore
'Cause all I have's right here
Spending nights and days before
Before...
I am yours now
So I don't ever have to leave
I am yours now,I am your now
But if you stand there and watch me burn
It's alright,because I like the way it hurts
But if you stand there and make me cry
I don't mind,because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Well,I don't have to leave anymore
'Cause all I have's right here
Spending nights and days before
Before...
I am yours now,so I don't ever have to leave
I am yours now,I am yours now
But if you stand there and watch me burn
It's alright,because I like the way it hurts
But if you stand there and make me cry
I don't mind,because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
But if you stand there and watch me burn
It's alright,because I like the way it hurts
And if you stand there and make me cry
I don't mind,because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

The Pretty Reckless -Islands/Love the way you lie

Unmerciful

  All I need now are fucking answers that I can't find. Why?
I was just talking to someone. I was praying...I guess. And then I was blaming and asking and...I don't really know. I don't think it was God,I was never faithfull...but,I felt like it was something behind human life,something behind my crazy mind,that I will never understand. Actually,I've never understood myself,but neither have others.
Always listening the same music.The same song.The same lyrics. Sometimes it may happen to remember the lyrics after the first time I hear a song...and sometimes I just can't,even if I listen to the same stupid song again and again and again...
Pff...it's just so terrifying,there are so many moments when I feel like a puppet,like marionette. Usually,in those times I use to listen a song with the same name "Marionette". And sometimes I just feel so alive like "I just wanna live/Don't really care about the things that they say/Don't really care about what happens to me/I just wanna live"... 
So,this is who I really am?-Someone who doesn't even know who she really is?